Bake it Real Good (Private)

It was about 4 am with inundation having slowly saturated the lands. Hazama was roaming the cobblestones of the Leaf Village's market place districts. His arms were occupied with a large barrel of ingredients. He had occupied a small classroom for academy students. He began to setup stations for whichever would be the best place optimized for crafting delights of sweetness. He withdrew a variety of tools to complete the task, kunai, cutting boards, even smoke bombs and makubashi just encase intruders came into their realm of quarters. The Hyuuga placed his left and right palm against the window frame softly forcing them open, to allow the waft, and a fellow of Anbu into the domain. It was time for a bake sale, and he planned to make sure the youngsters were going to have enough funds raised for their field trip, and their solar plexus would be full as well. The man began to boil some herbal melodies to overcome any thirst when his associate would arrive. He took it upon himself to begin writing his name upon the Chalk board, it Stated Kageken Rulez!

The market district was a place of liveliness. Ninjas and civilians alike came to there often, whether it was to find a bite to eat, do some grocery shopping, or simply just to socialize (like teenagers would gather at a mall and do).  To accommodate for the usual day at the market, cooks would arrive to work before the sun did. And this morning was no different. While most of Konoha was either asleep or just starting their day, there were already more than a few lights lit in the marketplace.

Zerutobi sauntered through the district. He could smell the aroma of all types of goodies as he went, and as he found himself going further into the marketplace, the stronger the smells became. Most of the foods that were being prepared at this time were for the breakfast crowd (though there were a few shops that opened early to arrange various fruits and vegetables for display) Zeru could practically hear the sizzling of bacon everywhere he went, and even a few scents of scrapple as well, which he could have done without—he hated scrapple, with a passion.

The walk through the marketplace was not for entertainment, though he did do so leisurely, it was to meet Hazuma. Not much details were revealed as to why, but Zeru did distinctly remembered that it was for the kids, and regardless to popular belief around town, the Kaguya liked kids; he just naturally felt that lower-raned ninjas were . . . well, lower.

Zeru continued to stroll through the marketplace for a while longer. He was beginning to become impatient with what seemed to be more like a search than a meeting, but then noticed a chalkboard out the corner of his eye. He took a quick glance at it, almost brushing it aside, but then doubled. It read: Kazeken Rulez. Though he had never met Hazuma, he knew through word-of-mouth that he was also known as Kazeken.

The doors to the small shop were slid open on both sides; Zeru took this as an invitation to enter.

And so he did.

He entered into the shop, quickly being consumed by the humidity that most kitchens produced. A smorgasbord of utensils had already been meticulously laid out onto one of the countertops, while a pot of boiling something was on another. Between the counters was a man, doing a great impersonation of someone that was actually experienced culinary arts. He assumed this man was Hazuma.

“Hey,” Zeru said, almost nervously, as he neared the stranger.

Hazama removed his Anbu mask as he could hear the gate way being infiltrated. The eight foot giant heard an utterance in the form of a greeting. Hazama's left palm placed the mask next to the empty bowls. His back was turned away from he paused for a second, and made a 180 degree turn to view foreign ally.

"Hello!"

the Hyuuga said with clenched fangs. His eyes stretched wide open with eyebrows arched to the max. His visage was that of a troll face. He didn't let the face descend, he kept his creepy smile, and eying glare directly upon the Anbu. His expression was very confusing as his eyes gave away expression of surprise, but the tight clinched smile indicated that Hazama might have had been on drugs.

"Would you like eh some tea? Hmm?"

He stated as the pedo type face had fell into one with no particular expression. He grab an empty stool, and placed his glutious upon his temporary throne. He pour the scorching elixir into tiny glass mugs one for each man in the room. He stirred his tea with in a circular motion with a silver spoon letting the steam rise out of it's portal.

"Yeah! What it do!?"

He asked as he grasped his cup, and began to chug it with his left arm, as his right arm sat lazily upon the table.

The first attribute that Zeru noticed was the sheer size of Hazuma. He was a fucking giant; if he were any taller, Zerutobi’s face would be aligned with the man’s dick.

“Hello!” the Hyuuga had said. His face distorted itself with an array of expressions, and it was unapparent if Hazuma was surprised to have his visitor this early, or he was high off his ass. “Would you like eh some tea?” he asked, sliding a stool over and sitting on it. Without a response, he quickly clenched a couple mugs, and the pot of boiling something, pouring the latter into the former. Steam sprouted from the top of the mugs, ascending some before assimilating into the humid air. “Hmm?”

Zerutobi deduced he must have been high. He could not recall the last time he witnessed someone so hasty, yet jittery. Seemed like the boiling something that was being offered to him might have been the culprit. A mixture of coffee and Green Tea is what it smelled like to the Kaguya. It was a concoction that many ninjas enjoyed; it provided the necessary energy most yearned for during morning hours, but also that nice buzz of relaxation.

Hell, why not? Zeru thought to himself as he stared down at the mug. The steam from the mug rise right up to his nostrils, and felt like they were hugging his nose hairs. It was an a sense of invitation, and Zeru indulged.

“Yeah! What it do!?” Hazuma asked, stirring a slim spoon around in his mug. He grasped it softly and took a few decent gulps.

“Nothing much,” the Kaguya replied. He also grabbed his mug lightly, cautious of the heat blasting through the confines of it. He blew a burst of air across its top and took a sip. “Heard you wanted to see me, get to know me, and whatnot. Also, to help with the bake sale.” He cringed a little, feeling the hot concoction slither down his throat. “You probably already know this, since you’re El Capitán, but I’m Zerutobi, the guy that’s been handling all these interrogation missions.” He took another sip; cringed again. “We’ll talk about me wanted more variation in my missions another time. But, for now, let’s concentrate most our energy on helping these kids.”

Hazama eyes squinted as he began to ponder what Zerutobi was speaking. Hazama was never really one who liked to be the center of attention, thus working as an Anbu made it easier for him to come, and go as he pleased. He didn't exactly have the best customer service, but then again he wasn't really well known. A shinobi is one with the shadows, and that is what Hazama strived for. Raising his glass in his right palm, he attempted to toast with his peer.

"I know of you, Zerutobi, but I do not know you. I'm pretty sure that is my fault, even now you've offered a moment of your time to come to my aid. So, lets get to know one another."

He stated as he slid his cup back upon the counter. About 5 meters from the two rested a pair of aprons, and a very tall pair culinarian headresses. Hazama placed one over his garbs, slowing with-drawing a non stick cooking paper as they were going to began their endeavor of haute cuisine no jutsu.

"There is an battle attire for you over there, and please don't call me El Captain it sounds kinda strange. Just call me Hazama. You know how to make cinnamon rolls?"

He questioned as he began to metamorph the flour into dough with water, and his hands.

"Tell me about yourself? Oh, and what do you think of our new, Kage?"

Hazama wasn't very good at making conversation, but he was trying to be some what genial to his associate.

Hazuma seemed to be the hasty worker; or that concoction really had him tripping balls. The kitchen that the two ANBU were stationed in was not very large—in fact, quite cramped—but that did not impede El Capitán’s scampering between counters and ovens.

“There’s your battle attire over there." Hazuma gestured to a area close to the pantry. Aprons and other kitchen accessories were stationed in a small closet that had been deprived of its door. "And please don’t call me El Capitán. It just sounds strange, he said, snatching a wax paper from a cabinet, over an oven.  “Just call me Hazuma. You know how to make cinnamon rolls?”

Zeru took another sip from his cup; no cringe this time, it was finally cooling. Some of the drink spilled from the opening in his mask, where his mouth was, and dripped down the chin of the mask. He slid the mask up from his face and rested it on his forehead. “I don’t wanna come off as some brute, but I’m basically ignorant of everything outside of the murdering, courtesy of ANBU,” he replied, chuckling. “I’m kidding . . . partially. But no, I don’t. I’m a fast learner though!”

The Kaguya noticed the apron and other kitchen gear by a pantry and took some, throwing the apron over his shoulders. As the tail of the apron lofted down to his knees, he grabbed the both strings on either side and tied them around his ass.

“So, tell me about yourself.” Hazuma replied.  He began to transform the flour into dough, manipulating its shape in his hands. “Oh, and what do you think of our new Kage?”

“Well, I’ve been an ANBU for a nice while now, specifically plucked from the academy, and thrown into the training program. Didn’t go through the naturally chain of ranks,” Zeru replied. “Went straight from school kid to killer.”

He was going to say what he knew of the new Kage, but was not sure how his captain would receive it. Not much, but Goddamn! Those thighs! I’d drink her bathwater! He was pretty sure a response like that was not the best way to give Hazuma an impression of him. Zerutobi was far from a pervert, but facts were facts, and those thighs were a damn blessing.

“I don’t know her personally, but I’ve heard nothing but great things.” Yes, a much more appropriate answer. “So, how can I help you out? I’m not much of a cook.”

Hazama had liquified an unit of butter using a small ivory casket with heating properties. As he removed the microwavable bowl from the mouth of the item his comrade began to reveal a little bit about himself. The young man spoke about his obliviousness to anything besides murder, and Hazama couldn't help but chuckle lightly.

"I understand! You've revealed that you are a master with a blade!"

Hazama boldly stated before dropping the melted butter from his paws. It landed upon his culinary attire. His left boot was secreted into the yellow trap forcing him to change his stance into a scissor split.

"Oh, I've got butterfingers!"

He cried slightly as he had become slightly unable to move do to wanting to life. As he pulled himself together the breeze blew from the open window slightly cooling the atmosphere of their realm. As he began sterilize the floor with hot boiling h2o and steam his peer had begun hit jutsu of molding the dough. An answer had been given to interrogative earlier, he wasn't really fond about the answer but he would accept it.

"I do apologize for that, you shouldn't have been pulled or pushed into something you didn't choose. However it turned out though, It's still a pleasure to meet you."

Hazama stated as he finished cleaning his hands.

He offered his left grasp to Zerutobi Kaguya as he believe he had yet jiggled the hand of him.

"Hmm, well I have yet to meet the Hokage, and I didn't even know that it was a woman. Oh, wait that is incorrect of me to assume that it is a woman instead of a girl. Whatever the case maybe they surely may be skilled. As for you Zerutobi you're helping me out already, I don't want to be doing this by myself. Talking makes things more relaxing, but hey you've got to be a people person, if you're in charge of interrogation right?"

Hazama grinned as he began the second phase of war against the hot butter tray.

The dough in Zerutobi’s hands began to form into a stringy figure, and he coiled it inside of itself. He noticed the shaker filled with cinnamon next to him and grabbed it, jerking a few pumps of brown powder from it. The cinnamon snowed atop the dough and smothered its exterior.

In his mind he chuckled at Hazuma. If anything, interrogation was the antichrist to social skills. All it did was teach you how to break the mentality of another person, even the strongest of persons. “I would consider myself a people person,” Zeru replied, still manipulating the cinnamon dough in his palms. “But I would say it’s more in spite of my job.”

Maybe Hazuma had not visited the interrogation sector in a while (at least not while Zeru was on duty—he wouldn’t have missed such a large man like the Hyuuga). But then again, why would anyone want to visit that places? It was a place that was home to a thousand screams, and a million tears. If the walls could speak in that dreaded place they would recite countless tales of brutality that could make the strongest of stomachs turn. The only interaction that took place in that type of place was the interaction between the brain and body, constantly transmitting the information of pain into the unlucky soul of whoever was being tortured.

A few episodes of the interrogating flashbacked through Zeru, but he quickly dismissed him from his mind (something he was very skilled at by now). “But I think I’m pretty good in social settings.”

He finally finished a few pieces of cinnamon dough. Not cinnabuns; Zeru would not disrespect the name cinnabun with the abomination he had made. The cinnamon rolls the Kaguya had created were deformed, and looked more like something a little girl would put into an Eazy-Bake Oven. But it would have to do.

“So, what are your duties, as ANBU Captain?” Zeru questioned, quickly sliding the large tray of cinnamon abominations to the side. “Is it like a managerial position? Or is there more to it than that?”

(Sorry for the shortness)

The illumination seeped through the open pane as the two shinobi continued their task. Hazama silently withdrew his palm, as his attempt to shake hands went unnoticed. It seemed Zerutobi was focused upon his craft as both his hangs began their fray with the pile of dough. Hazama began prepping the advance version of the compact heating casket. As Zerutobi slid the tray Hazama drizzled butter over the fictional provisions carefully making an attempt not to spill to much on them. He placed the tray inside the mouth of the coffin closing it shut turning the dial to three hundred.

"Well I think I could agree to somewhere in between. I don't actually have to get involved in combat much. I do more diplomatic type of assignments I guess you should say. I'm kind of glad it's like that, because when we don't have to do our job, there is peace, and no one has to worry about a war. In all honesty, I spend most of my time sleeping."

Hazama said as he gently folded his left arm over his right. Hazama stood erect waiting for the birth of their creations to be finished.

“Ah, ok,” Zeru remarked. “Sounds very relaxing. Maybe I’ll be hunting for your job soon.” He smiled, leaning against a counter parallel to the ovens, with folded arms.

He glanced over at his cup and realized there was still some substance at the bottom. He grabbed it from the counter and took one final sip; more like a gulp.

All the pastry goodness that the two shinobi produced that morning was now safely tucked away into the oven. Hazuma had slid a few trays into the food furnace, cranking the knob on the front of it up to 450 degrees. This was the calm of cooking, where downtime resided. Soon the storm of culinary would once again rain upon the two, but for now it was their intermission. The tall ANBU Captain gazed at the oven with delight, clearly anxious to see the fruits of their labor.

Though Zeru’s cinnamon creations were far short of being cinnamon buns, they still carried a similar scent—the aroma emerging from the oven assured it. At least is smells like them Zeru thought to himself, taking large intakes of air through his nose, embracing the fantastic smells that began to fill the small kitchen.

OOC
I apologize for the lack of quantity in my post too. And for the lateness. I've been pretty busy lately, all is good though.

(Don't you worry at all man. I'm at a brain fart moment, but don't worry we'll get through it. I am also okay with us ending the topic after we get to page two, as two grown ass men baking stuff can only go so far for me lol)

Hazama smiled, and replied to Anbu, Zeruzobi Kaguya.

"Hey, You're more than welcome to take the job, I need to get more sleep. Besides I might be a dad soon."

He stated as his comrade leaned against the counter top. Carefully the Kageken, opened the oven as the with the left hand while removing the tray of treats with his right palm. Hazama looked at them, and couldn't help but burst out laughing.

"Oh, shit these look horrible! We can this this though."

He said as he placed the tray next to Zerutobi about 2 meters away from his current placement.

"We, can make these into cinnamon bites. We'll just make them into smaller portions, and let the consumers dip them. Do you think this is a good idea?"

He asked the young man, wondering, if he could provide a better solution. The heat from the desserts began vanish growing into a warmth. The Hyuuga places his left palm against the counter, and began strumming his fingers against the top. He began to wonder what his wife would make, and wished she had also been here to aid him in his divine quest of deliciousness. Not that Mr.Zerutobi was no help, but the more hands the merrier. Hazama began to practice his kata while hoping to come up with more ideas, and while also awaiting an answer from the young man.

Zeru hunched over to see the pastries, a wave of heat subtly blasting him across his face as Hazuma removed them from the oven. The tall Hyuuga grasped the metal sheet with a thick rag, and slid it onto the counter above.

They looked like shit. Scratch that. They looked like what shit comes out off—an asshole. But the scent that they emitted was fantastic, and filled the cramped kitchen with their delightful smell. At least that one had a saving quality to them.

Hazuma seemed to be stunned by the transformation of his dough—or mutation, depending on whose perspective. “Oh shit,” he said, with widened eyes, “These look horrible!” He took a hand and flapped it over the sheet, quickly grabbed one of the buns afterwards, and gave it a quick lookover. “We can make this work, though.”

Maybe if we blindfold consumers before letting them try it . . . maybe, Zeru said to himself. He tried to envision people buying the buns without a blindfold, but failed to picture buyers overcoming the sight of them.

Hazuma placed the cinnamon bun back on to the tray and slid it over to the Kaguya. “We can make these into cinnamon bites,” he said still staring at the tray. “We’ll just make then into smaller portions, and let consumers dip them.” His eyes quickly switched to Zeru. “Do you think that a good idea?”

Shit, it was better than any idea Zerutobi could form. Maybe because of situations like this that separated the captains from the rest. Not life-or-death decision making pertaining to mutated pastries from Hell’s Kitchen (where the demon creations known as ANBU pastries wrecked havoc on innocent people, with their horrid looks, but deceivingly attractive scent), but their ability to formulate ideas and plans—regardless of the circumstances—in general; good or bad, because many can not form any plan at all.

“Quick thinking,” he said to his captain, with a nod. “I like the thought, lets put it into action.”

Zeru grabbed the closest object with a blade—a simple knife—and began to cut up the monstrosities. The tray rumbled a bit with each chop, rattling against the counter.

Hazama knelled down mildly to place his hands inside a blue ice chest filled with ingredients, excluding the ice. The contents were cooled by tiny glaciers covering the icying cases. Hazama quickly tossed three of the packets into the air lightly bouncing them in his hand as he arose to the default stance of standing. He watched Zerutobi begin his bisection of each morsel with careful brutality. The tray began to rumble with each stroke he took. Hazama wondered how many lives he had took while using a simple tool such as a blade.

Hazama removed the opposite of unsliced portions placing a total of eight bits into a leather pocket dimension. The shinobi dropped the pods of icying inside the portal as well to allow the consumer to divide how much or how little frosting they desired. He grabbed the straps, and tied the satchel shut. They had completed their task for the moment, Hazama made his way back towards coat rack  where he had first acquired his battle garb. The Shinobi removed a cooking cap for himself, and his sou assistant, Zerutobi Kaguya.

"Very well done."


He said as he guzzled the rest of his tea. He began to refill the his cup, as well as the Anbu member's mug as, the battle of the flavor wasn't over yet.

"What's our next item? Since you are aiding you should come up with an weapon to craft as well. The battle against the hunger is coming soon. We must be prepared."

He said as he put on his hat of culinary wisdom. The shinobi took a shot of his goji berry libation. Hazama walked over towards the window, and stuck his head out of it gaining intel on area, as it seemed nothing had changed but the time, but the change was rather small. Only forty-six minutes had escaped them, and they fray would continue.

"This kid seems rather kind for being in the, Anbu. Maybe life isn't a total lost. Or maybe he hides it well. I wonder what the Hokage's doing right now.

Spoke to himself as he began to run his hand underneath an artificial waterfall, to remove the stickiness from his palms. He returned to take a sip of his beverage once more before placing it back upon the counter top.

"What time would you like to go to lunch? My treat of course"

He asked as he returned to create more sacks of cinnamon bits and icying packets.

Hazama activated his byakugan as he was had a watchful eye over his lady of the land. He made his way out to gather some lunch for his comrade.

[exit]