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 » Archives » Old Creations » Raiton Jutsus

Raiton Jutsus

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1Raiton Jutsus Empty Raiton Jutsus Mon Nov 24, 2014 4:28 am

Sa'Kage

Sa'Kage

Raiton Jutsus 73m2

Name: Raigeki Bakudan (Lightning Stroke Bomb) (雷撃爆弾)
Rank: S
Type: Ninjutsu
Used For: Offensive
Element: Raiton
Range: Target must be within 30 meters of caster
Duration: N/A
Hand Seals/Charge up: Snake-Rat-Tiger-Ram-Bird-Snake-Dragon
Description: The user activates the hand seals. Upon completion, lightning forms in both hands. Holding their hands together, a sphere of lightning energy is formed and condensed surronded by multiple rings of fire. The user then flings the sphere at the target causing an explosion that blows the target away. A direct hit for anyone 1 rank under can cause organ, bone and skin damage on top of 3rd degree bones. A direct hit of someone with the same rank can cause bone and skin damage on top of 2nd degree burns.
Weakness: Heavily reduced damage if countered with A+ Suiton Jutsu. The user will suffer from cellular damage in the hands. The damage will fully heal after 3 threads (healing or otherwise). However, permanent damage will set in after 7 consecutive usages (threads). This starts with losing feeling, though still being able to operate digits on the hand and after more consecutive usages, the damage will worsen. This can only be used 1 per thread. Requires Ninjutsu Adept


Anyone can use these



Last edited by Sa'Kage on Thu Nov 27, 2014 3:19 am; edited 4 times in total

2Raiton Jutsus Empty Re: Raiton Jutsus Mon Nov 24, 2014 9:21 pm

Aerie Locke

Aerie Locke

REVIEW.

Vessel: Explain how bid the spheres are and how long the blasts can shoot. What kind of damage do they do on impact?

Raigeki: Five miles is too large, even for an S-Rank technique. That's large enough to level a whole village. Lower it to at least one mile. Also, you need to reword it. It says, " Upon completion, fire will gather and lightning in the other, however it does not cause damage to the user. " I think there's a type there...

Electron: Um, I don't know...You should not make this one because there's already an Electron Clan...

3Raiton Jutsus Empty Re: Raiton Jutsus Tue Nov 25, 2014 4:49 am

Sa'Kage

Sa'Kage

bump

4Raiton Jutsus Empty Re: Raiton Jutsus Tue Nov 25, 2014 9:09 am

Sato

Sato


Hello, I shall give you another judgement.

  • Lightning Style: Vessel Consumption Jutsu: Range needs to be dropped? Im not comfortable with miles but if im not mistaking, 1 mile = 1609 Meters? Why and how can you block All A-ranked techniques especially Raiton's weak element. Why are you able to fly lol? and how long/high can you fly for? chart this. I suppose you mean Raiton beams and shit when you say 'energy' and even then how many can you shoot and add a CD to this. Im not allowing you to just go off shooting how many you want. You have given the damage calculations for S-ranked only, what about A-ranked usage and what in the world does the ranks of the other ninja have to do with damage? Why does Suiton ruin this form lol? there has to be more of a weakness to this high ranked technique to balance it out.
  • Raigeki (Lightning Stroke) (雷撃): Change miles to meters please. Mixed elements in one technique is prohibited I believe and must be separate techniques. Explosion from what? size needs to be lowered by a lot.
  • Raigeki Bakudan (Lightning Stroke Bomb):Range lowered and changed to meters. Elemental mixture needs to be separate techniques. What does rank have to do with damage again.
  • Heaven's Wolf Fang Lightning:This speed requires Taijutsu Master and Kenjutsu Adapt so add this. How fast are the strikes?
  • Range: Please Change the range for ALL techniques to meters.
  • Electron: Isn't there a clan for this and if so are you a part of it?
  • Weakness: ALL your techniques need better weaknesses. Ones that actually balance out the techniques

http://www.narutonexusrp.com

5Raiton Jutsus Empty Re: Raiton Jutsus Wed Nov 26, 2014 4:21 am

Sa'Kage

Sa'Kage

bump

6Raiton Jutsus Empty Re: Raiton Jutsus Wed Nov 26, 2014 6:13 am

V

V
Konoha Jounin
Konoha Jounin

Name: Raigeki (Lightning Stroke) (雷撃)
Rank: S
Type: Ninjutsu
Used For: Offensive
Element: Raiton
Range: Target must be within 80467 meters of caster
Duration: N/A
Hand Seals/Charge up: Snake-Rat-Tiger-Ram-Bird-Snake-Dragon
Description: The user activates the hand seals. Upon completion, lightning however it does not cause damage to the user (their hands specifically). The user will extend their hand skyward and clouds will form over the target and a column of lightning will touch down. An explosion will occur in a 1 mile radius from impact.
Weakness: Heavily reduced damage if countered with A+ Suiton Jutsu or Barrier Jutsu
I may have to deny this, because it's too similar to Kirin. Like, you could still fire your own lightning chakra to the clouds and then manipulate it to come back down on a target within a mile radius of you, but the actual explosive impact would not exceed say... 50 meters in explosion radius. But if you decide to go to that route or something else, there will still be heavy drawbacks or the like.

Name: Raigeki Bakudan (Lightning Stroke Bomb) (雷撃爆弾)
Rank: S
Type: Ninjutsu
Used For: Offensive
Element: Raiton
Range: Target must be within 30 meters of caster
Duration: N/A
Hand Seals/Charge up: Snake-Rat-Tiger-Ram-Bird-Snake-Dragon
Description: The user activates the hand seals. Upon completion, fire will gather in one hand and lightning in the other, however it does not cause damage to the user (their hands specifically). Holding their hands together, a sphere of lightning energy is formed and condensed surronded by multiple rings of fire. The user then flings the sphere at the target causing an explosion that blows the target away. A direct hit for anyone 1 rank under can cause organ, bone and skin damage on top of 3rd degree bones. A direct hit of someone with the same rank can cause bone and skin damage on top of 2nd degree burns.
Weakness: Heavily reduced damage if countered with A+ Suiton Jutsu. The user will suffer from celluar damage in the hands.
Just remove the part in your description that there's no damage to the user since the weaknesses contradict that. And since you are suffering cellular damage, just describe how that would impair you (like how many times can you use it before you cannot use your hands anymore, burns, etc.)

7Raiton Jutsus Empty Re: Raiton Jutsus Thu Nov 27, 2014 3:20 am

Sa'Kage

Sa'Kage

bump. Jeez, this is some work

8Raiton Jutsus Empty Re: Raiton Jutsus Fri Nov 28, 2014 11:00 am

V

V
Konoha Jounin
Konoha Jounin

Approved

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